


idiots that are clearly in love should stop beating around the bush

by toobscocaine



Series: kenma gives great advice [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Agender Character, Agender Kozume Kenma, Aromantic Asexual Character, Aromantic Asexual Kozume Kenma, Fluff, Genderqueer Character, Genderqueer Yamaguchi Tadashi, Kozume Kenma-centric, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Yachi Hitoka, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, so fluffy you might die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:48:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24594055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toobscocaine/pseuds/toobscocaine
Summary: kenma is back at it again with their matchmaking skills, and hinata is the next on the chopping block.can be read standalone but is part of a larger series
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kozume Kenma & Yachi Hitoka & Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: kenma gives great advice [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1775521
Comments: 1
Kudos: 45





	idiots that are clearly in love should stop beating around the bush

**Author's Note:**

> as always, 4:30 AM and unedited   
> \- this ended up having less kagehina then i wanted but whatevs because yamaguchi + yachi + kenma friendship is powerful.
> 
> +
> 
> kenma out drinking w/ hinata is reference to when he was out in ‘matchmaking: a party of 4’

“HE’S NEVER GOING TO LOVE ME.” Hinata yelled dramatically. This was the fifth time in the last five minutes, and Kenma was about ready to commit murder. First of all, if Hinata got any louder, he’d probably get them both kicked out of the bar, though that might be for the best. Second of all, Kenma hated listening to people complain. There was probably two people they could deal with complaining, one of them would be Hinata, but he was outrageously drunk at the moment(the other was Bokuto, but Kenma wasn’t sure why.) 

“Kenma what should I do?” Kenma was about ready to stab someone, or maybe just cut off all their friends. They seriously should get better friends, or just stay in their room and play on the ps4 all day. Regardless, Hinata’s eager eyes (well, as eager as his drunk and lonely eyes can get) were hard to resist.

”Just ask him out? He obviously doesn’t have anything against gay people since he’s friends with all of Karasuno and some other idiots who radiate gay.” Kenma looked down at the phone, they finished candy crush, lame. Kenma pulled out their handheld console and began playing. Hinata groaned.

”But if he doesn’t like me back, our friendship could change.” Kenma snorted a quiet laugh. Everyone could notice Kageyama’s huge ass crush on Hinata. His eyes would get gigantic whenever Hinata was near him. However, matchmaking Hinata and Kageyama wasn’t Kenma’s place.

”Just go for it. I doubt you have that much to lose.” Kenma took a sip of their water, they weren’t much of a drinker.

Hinata went quiet for a while, then started rambling again. He was probably to drunk out of his mind to remember Kenma’s advice. Kenma checked the time, 23:57, a little later then they had intended to be out.

“Let’s go Shouyou.” Hinata was slumped down on the table, practically passed out drunk. Kenma wrapped their arm around Hinata and picked him up. _This is going to be a long walk home_.

Kenma really despised playing matchmaker, like _really_ hated it. They weren’t sure why this kept falling onto them. Kuroo was out with his new partners, so Kenma sat in the apartment by themself. 

Kenma of course wanted to stay home and play video games, but as Kuroo put it ‘ _you can’t be a shut-in all the time_ ’ But Kenma was planning on being a shut-in all day, but Kuroo wasn’t going to allow that. So now Kenma was waiting for Hinata to pick them up. Apparently they were going to the mall with Kageyama, Hinata, Yamaguchi, and Yachi. Kenma was told by Tsukishima that Yamaguchi needs to get out more too, since Tsukishima had newly abandoned him for his partners.

Sure enough, there was a loud knock on Kenma’s door. Kenma opened the door to a Hinata that looked like he hadn’t slept in at least two days.

”Hey.” Kenma nodded.

”I HAVE TO SEE KAGEYAMA? I’M GOING TO DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT.” Hinata paced back in fourth.

”First of all, be quieter. Second of all, you can’t just avoid him forever.” At the second statement, Hinata stopped dead in his tracks.

”I can, I will.” Hinata _hmfed_ like a little kid. “Let’s go.” He mumbled, defeated, and Kenma closed the door to the apartment.

When Hinata and Kenma arrived at the mall, Hinata took a walking spot farthest from Kageyama as possible. Kageyama of course, who was probably just as nervous, slowly gravitated in Hinata’s direction. Kenma gladly let themselves switch spots, and Kageyama ended up next to Hinata. 

“Love must really be blind.” Yamaguchi snorted a laugh. Kenma turned to look at him.

”Love is dumb.” Kenma replied, and looked around for the one clothing store they liked to go to. 

“What are you looking for?” Yachi leaned over to look at Kenma. The group of three had drifted away from the ‘ _bumbling lovebirds_ ’ behind them.

”The _androgyny_ store.” Yamaguchi’s eyes widened. Kenma’s head almost lowered, they knew where this was about to go.

”I love it there.” Yamaguchi exclaimed, the widest smile lit up his face.

”Me too!” Yachi squealed.

Kenma knew what that meant. The androgyny store had gender neutral clothing, and it was a safe place for trans people to shop and get binders.

”So you guys are... you too?” Kenma actually smiled, a bright one too.

”Genderqueer. They/Them or she/her.” Yamaguchi grinned widely back at Kenma.

”Nonbinary. They/them.” Yachi smiled too, it was almost-god forbid- cute.

”Agender.” Kenma smiled. “What are your sexualities?” Kenma felt so amazing. They had never met so many people like them, only two other people they had met were in similar situations.

”Aroace.” Yachi tucked their hair behind their ear.

”Aroace as well, and you?”

”Aroace.” Kenma was in absolute shock. They had never met people who were aroace too. It felt so amazing. “Now I’m definitely less mad Kuroo forced me too go out. Can I get your numbers in my phone?” Kenma never asked first for numbers.

Everyone exchanged numbers and Kenma created to groupchats. One called ‘fuck the gender binary’ and added Bokuto as well, and another one called ‘romance and sex are for dummies’ Kenma was over the moon, more excited then they had been in a while.

Then, the group of three had the same collective thought, _we probably shouldn’t have left Hinata and Kageyama alone_. The group backtracked, and found the sports store.

”They’re either here or they got kidnapped.” Yamaguchi groaned, then she led the group into the big store.

“10 bucks Shouyou breaks first.” Kenma knew Hinata well enough that he would not be able to ignore Kageyama for very long.

“Kageyama is practically drooling over Hinata all the time.” Yachi raised their eyebrow. “Deal.”

It didn’t take long to get to the volleyball section, in which they got there just in time to see Kageyama and Hinata go into a dressing room. Yachi giggled.

Kenma, Yachi, and Yamaguchi tiptoed to the dressing rooms. The trio stood outside, listening in. It was quiet for the first minute or so.

”Hey Kageyama, can I ask you something?” Even through the door, Kenma could hear the nervousness in his voice. Yachi groaned quietly and handed Kenma 10 bucks.

”Yeah, what is it?” Kageyama sounded like he was pissed off, and Kenma noticed Hinata’s breathing hitch.

”Um.... well, I don’t know how to say this.”

”Say what?” Kageyama was very bad at expressing emotions, at least from what Kenma could tell.

Hinata took one, loud breath.”I uh... like you. Like _like_ you. A lot. And I don’t want to change the friendship we have but I couldn’t take it any l’ll totally understand if-“ 

“I like you too stupid. I _love_ you.” Yamaguchi gagged at the word, Kenma and Yachi quietly giggling.

Hinata.exe definitely stopped working with that information. ”This is real, right? Like Kageyama ‘the boy I’ve loved since high school’ Tobio just told me he loved me back. Woah. _Woah_. Like your not just trying to make me fe-“ The sound of smooching. The trio took that as their cue to leave.

”Ahh... young love.” Yachi put a hand on their forehead dramatically. Yamaguchi laughed, and too Kenma, it was adorable. Kenma never called something adorable. Since both Kuroo and Hinata were about to start abandoning them, they were pretty sure they found some new friends.

Kenma sat at the table, very obviously... third-wheeling? fifth-wheeling? eighth-wheeling? They weren’t entirely sure at this point, but they had spaced out playing angry birds a long time ago. 

Hinata and Kageyama sat on one side of the table, booping each other’s noses and doing other gross couple things. On Kenma’s other side, sat the group of four. Kuroo and Bokuto were drunk out of their minds, Tsukishima had headphones on, and Akaashi looked like he was done with life.

Tsukishima tapped Kenma’s shoulder. “Yachi and Yamaguchi will be here soon.” Tsukishima was kinda scarily observant, Kenma wasn’t sure how Tsukishima could tell Kenma was that excited to see the other two. Kenma nodded back, and went back to angry birds.

“KENMA! WHATCHA DOING?” Hinata screamed at a volume thought to be inhuman, and impossible for human ears to comprehend. 

“Playing angry birds.” 

“I apologize for his volume. He’s drunk out of his mind right now.” 1 week and Kageyama was already talking like he was Hinata’s married couple. Kenma snorted a quiet laugh. 

Hinata went back to kissing Kageyama, and drunk Bokuto leaned over to cover their eyes. “DON’T IMPURIFY MY DEAR KENMA.” She also reached new volumes thought to be impossible. 

“Bokuto, can you be quieter please?” Akaashi gave the smile that Kenma knew would _obliterate_ Bokuto in an instant. Kenma made another quiet laugh. 

“We’re here.” Everyone scooted over seats so Yamaguchi and Yachi sat on Kenma’s left. 

“What’s up?” Kenma almost smiled, but they couldn’t give Kuroo the satisfaction of seeing it. 

“Nothing much. Saw Kiyoko the other day, she was with her girlfriend, who was super chill. The girl was chill with using my pronouns right away.” Yachi was fidgeting nervously with a rubix cube while she talked.

”I’m not out to our friends Yachi, and neither are you, please don’t talk so loud.” Yamaguchi looked down, mumbling.

”Yamaguchi, there is no way in hell they can here us. Tsukishima has headphone on, Akaashi is too busy trying to deal with the alcoholics over there, and I haven’t seen the duo over there stop kissing in the past two minutes.” Yachi slammed the finished cube onto the table.

”You guys aren’t out? I’ve been out for a while. Just so you know, Bokuto over there is genderfluid you know.” Kenma gestured to Bokuto, who was currently draped upside down over the chair, screaming. Thank god the group got a private room. 

“Tsukki and Suga know. I haven’t told anyone else.” Yamaguchi didn’t look Kenma in the eyes. 

“Kiyoko knows and Suga knows. And obviously Yamaguchi knows.” Yachi offered a kind smile.

”Why don’t you just tell them now.” Kenma internally smirked, since emotions on their face was not really their thing. 

Yamaguchi looked like a deer in headlights. “But-“

”Great idea!” Yachi grinned widely, as opposed to the former who looked like she just got hit by a truck. 

“SHUT UP WEIRDOS WE HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!” Yachi screams, and of course, everyone turned to look at them, because this was wildly out of character. Though Yachi acted tough now, Kenma could see the nervousness in their eye. 

“Um... so I guess this is me coming out? I’m nonbinary, I use they/them.” Yachi’s tone got quieter the more words they said.

”I-I uh- I’m... I’m genderqueer. I u-use she/her a-and they/them.” Yamaguchi was in tears, but you could see the proud dad radiating from Tsukishima’s eyes. 

“That was brave.” Kenma couldn’t help but smile, and even pulled Yachi and Yamaguchi into a hug. There was dead silence. And if looks could kill, Kenma would be a very dead person. Kenma knew it wasn’t the fact that the group didn’t accept the two, it was that Kenma, KENMA was actually hugging people. Kenma, the shut-in, was actually engaging in human interaction.

 _Say something_ , Kenma mouthed, since both Yamaguchi’s and Yachi’s faces were buried into their chest. 

“Your so brave! I’m really happy you were able to tell us.” Bokuto was there to save the day. She offered a loving motherly smile, and both Yachi and Yamaguchi lifted their heads to look at her. 

“That’s awesome.” Kageyama smiled. It was probably the best he could do, but everyone knew he meant well.

The room broke into loving and supportive comments from their friends. It couldn’t help but remind Kenma that wasn’t how their coming out was like at all, but there was no point being themselves into it. 

Kenma could get used to friends like this.

**Author's Note:**

> i know they don’t use dollars but i’m too lazy to figure out how many yen and if japanese people make bets like that anyway. 
> 
> also comment what ship y’all wanna see next because i’m not sure who to do


End file.
